Monday, October 29, 2012

Whom Who?

So you have been speaking English for some time now.  You've got this thing.  You know how to match your subjects with your verbs.  Right?  You can spell halfway decently, at least enough to send a "Do you like me?  Circle 'Yes' or 'No'" note in third grade.  (If you're doing this in college, you're pretty much wasting money on your education.)  You even know how to curse someone out if she cuts you off in the middle of rush hour.  That's actually how I became fluent in English.

Grrrrrrrrrr!
But then comes along what has to be a foreign word:  whom.  WTF?  Is this a typo?  Did someone mean to write "who" but threw in the extra "m" to confuse the non-native English speakers?  Nope, "whom" is a real English word.  Deal with it!

So there's good news and bad news.  I'll start with the bad first, since it's always fun to kill people's joy from the get-go.  "Whom" is a legitimate word, and you will encounter it from time to time.  The good news, however, is that it is a dying word, meaning people are using it less and less.  Why you (didn't) ask?  Honestly, the word sounds terribly snooty.  If you're as cool as the cast of "Jersey Shore," you would't be caught dead using this word.  (In fact, you wouldn't be caught dead using words with more than one-and-a-half syllables.)

So here's the breakdown of this word.  "Whom" is considered an objective pronoun.  All that means is that it never initiates the action in a sentence; it always receives the action.  Here's an example:


He wants to give the gift to whom?

Putting aside Christian generosity, "whom" in this sentence clear is the recipient of the gift, not the giver of it.  Here's another example of "whom":

I actually like the guy whom everyone in the office hates to death!

Disregarding the fact that you aren't capable of picking respectable friends, "whom" in this sentence is acting as a relative pronoun.  That's fancy language for "whom" is connecting two sentences.

And there are variations of "whom," such as "whomever" and "whomsoever."

And with that, you'll see why "whom" is going the way of the dinosaur.  Nearly every instance of the word sounds pompous and, dare I say it, un-American.  Only in the most formal of settings is the word used, and even then, its usage has relaxed significantly.  So if you're writing a research paper for your stuffy, stuck-up professor in college, use "whom" more than Mariah Carey uses a lip-syncing machine when "performing."  Otherwise, I would avoid using the word.  You may think you're sounding professional and educated.  I would say that you end up being snickered at the moment you turn your back.

So don't listen to the language purists who pine all day about the degradation of the English language with the slow exit of "whom."  Language is like humankind--it evolves all the time and never looks the same from one century to the next.

So be cool:  Don't use "whom."

1 comment:

  1. Why am I not surprised that you managed to weave a Mariah Carey reference into this post?

    :-)

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